Friday 10 August 2012

Prozac

I was once accused of being a neurotic, middle-aged woman on Prozac.

I wasn't, at the time.  I am now.

I'm quite nervous about taking these tablets.  Until now I've been able to take charge of my own head, eventually.  But the time has come to accept that I need extra help.  The mirena coil has affected me differently this time, and as I told my GP yesterday, I now have two volumes - calm and psychotic. 

My skewed thinking has taken on a whole new dimension.  I realise that that nasty woman is back inside my head, pecking away with her "maybe you're just turning into an embittered old woman.  Maybe you're just not as nice as you want to be".  I'm gagging her, but not very successfully.

I've had a lot of help and support from other anti-depressant users.  I know to expect the woolly head and spaced-out feelings that I've had from painkillers, for example.  I hope I'll adjust quickly, and I'll get to the bit where I feel better.

It's scary, but it's not failure.  It's just the next phase of being me.

1 comment: